Saturday, November 20, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
My Concept of God
It is an energy that flows within the Universe
the one that animates the wind,
that fires the heat,
that dances among each body
and the transformation of sounds so we can hear.
It is the language of the heart
that speaks to me the most,
The Spirit that accompanies all experiences,
survival, transformation and wellness
It is the one waiting while supporting growth
waiting patiently,
through each heartbeat,
for growth and evolution,
It is a God that supports my nuggets of awareness
as they move into my awakening and
supports my movements into taking action as I amend
and give you my truth into the totality of beingness!
It is the union of peace and harmony in my heart and the calling
I am claiming to be part of my tribe,
to contribute further healing.
To contribute towards our joy together into this planet,
My concept of God has changed and I have open my heart
to be in this light and in the love we all share.
the one that animates the wind,
that fires the heat,
that dances among each body
and the transformation of sounds so we can hear.
It is the language of the heart
that speaks to me the most,
The Spirit that accompanies all experiences,
survival, transformation and wellness
It is the one waiting while supporting growth
waiting patiently,
through each heartbeat,
for growth and evolution,
It is a God that supports my nuggets of awareness
as they move into my awakening and
supports my movements into taking action as I amend
and give you my truth into the totality of beingness!
It is the union of peace and harmony in my heart and the calling
I am claiming to be part of my tribe,
to contribute further healing.
To contribute towards our joy together into this planet,
My concept of God has changed and I have open my heart
to be in this light and in the love we all share.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Intuition
Intuition feels like a conversation with the Universe
like messages in the sky
like a feast of hummingbirds celebrating in flight
and the heat rising from the heart’s desire to be free.
my friend calling on the other line
how are things she says?
Things are great,
lots of gratitude
dancing in grace
as I let myself be embrace by it all,
as long as it is harmony, peace and lots of joy.
She is a painter
and shares her art and joy,
how she studies and plays
while letting go of a nicotine addiction,
who overtook and lead her life.
Now she is free
connecting the new dots
and living a life
connected to her heart
I tell her I agree we’ve been survivors
for too long,
now its time,
its time to thrive!
i look up at the sky
as if something gently lifts my chin,
and there is a dance in the sky,
a red-tailed hawk
being followed side by side
by two crows,
the hawk smoothly flying
expanded
in agreement of an open door to thrive,
that is it,
they slowly disappear into the sky
until their dance only remains
in our words,
my friend agrees,
she tells me then about the
story of her knowledge of crows and eagles.
a story of its own later to be told.
like messages in the sky
like a feast of hummingbirds celebrating in flight
and the heat rising from the heart’s desire to be free.
my friend calling on the other line
how are things she says?
Things are great,
lots of gratitude
dancing in grace
as I let myself be embrace by it all,
as long as it is harmony, peace and lots of joy.
She is a painter
and shares her art and joy,
how she studies and plays
while letting go of a nicotine addiction,
who overtook and lead her life.
Now she is free
connecting the new dots
and living a life
connected to her heart
I tell her I agree we’ve been survivors
for too long,
now its time,
its time to thrive!
i look up at the sky
as if something gently lifts my chin,
and there is a dance in the sky,
a red-tailed hawk
being followed side by side
by two crows,
the hawk smoothly flying
expanded
in agreement of an open door to thrive,
that is it,
they slowly disappear into the sky
until their dance only remains
in our words,
my friend agrees,
she tells me then about the
story of her knowledge of crows and eagles.
a story of its own later to be told.
Monday, October 25, 2010
For the Addict Mind
It is very slick and slivery
gliding through the cities alleys and
back entrances like a thief
its a body full of tricks
a magician in its trade
luring you with goodies
and sweets of all sorts
they last a few lollypop surrenders
until the last chew just to sticky to be true
and then immediately another one
just like that
at your disposal.
It is always waiting,
most times uninvited
oh so seductive
accommodating
wiling to go to any lengths
The seductive body
dresses in black
and rarely shows its face
but its swirls of addiction
correlates with your downfall
So take the back sit
please,
lets stroll in this new sobriety
where we can both be lured
into the hearts pleasure
where your insatiable hunger
can be replenished
and satisfied.
gliding through the cities alleys and
back entrances like a thief
its a body full of tricks
a magician in its trade
luring you with goodies
and sweets of all sorts
they last a few lollypop surrenders
until the last chew just to sticky to be true
and then immediately another one
just like that
at your disposal.
It is always waiting,
most times uninvited
oh so seductive
accommodating
wiling to go to any lengths
The seductive body
dresses in black
and rarely shows its face
but its swirls of addiction
correlates with your downfall
So take the back sit
please,
lets stroll in this new sobriety
where we can both be lured
into the hearts pleasure
where your insatiable hunger
can be replenished
and satisfied.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Breathing
The Earth breathes and moves mountains, it seems at times, or swirls into joy with great waves in the oceans to greet the walks I take to soothe my feet.
The wind blows right next to my window to wake the other breath in me, as I breath it seems to respond by brushing through the plants and trees.
I've been awake a long time this morning, wanting to rest inside yet moving from and to different rooms in this beautiful house. The air is cooler as fall approaches and the new moon begins to settle in .
What new callings to be placed among the space and time of this reality? What new vibrations other love to be evoke among the tribes and community of this global encounter.
I saw many movies this past month from documentaries, comedies and steamy romantic films. Injustice, challenges, evolutionary change and passion. The young women in Ethiopia shunned by the injustice of shame, humiliation by losing their child during childbirth: A walk to Beautiful...worth watching, just on the other side of the globe. An "People of the Wind" of the Bakhtiari journey into the Zagro mountains of Iran, if your migration seems challenging and doubtful at times try watching this last one.
I look over to the winding on my right where a beautiful small tree guards my room and on its branch sits a hummingbird ever reminding me of the joy in life and sustain this mood into the unknown.
The wind blows right next to my window to wake the other breath in me, as I breath it seems to respond by brushing through the plants and trees.
I've been awake a long time this morning, wanting to rest inside yet moving from and to different rooms in this beautiful house. The air is cooler as fall approaches and the new moon begins to settle in .
What new callings to be placed among the space and time of this reality? What new vibrations other love to be evoke among the tribes and community of this global encounter.
I saw many movies this past month from documentaries, comedies and steamy romantic films. Injustice, challenges, evolutionary change and passion. The young women in Ethiopia shunned by the injustice of shame, humiliation by losing their child during childbirth: A walk to Beautiful...worth watching, just on the other side of the globe. An "People of the Wind" of the Bakhtiari journey into the Zagro mountains of Iran, if your migration seems challenging and doubtful at times try watching this last one.
I look over to the winding on my right where a beautiful small tree guards my room and on its branch sits a hummingbird ever reminding me of the joy in life and sustain this mood into the unknown.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
An Inch of Possibilities
An inch of possibilities filled the space and time,
to extend my wings and embrace the child
who came from afar in a calling of love
under the cloak of stars,
here my wings forever fly with you at heart
I put my words aside and feel your skin and breath
here you come again after so many days apart
and I hear the winds cycling in to meet again
as the pure inch of possibility
To hear you voice dear child-man
and laugh out loud as the sun accompanies
each step we take side by side,
you know I love your stories
even if the words don't make in reverse,
all that matters is this seconds of possibilities
and we meet again,
the mother questions and frowns over there and
past in uncensored gaps of time
and all the matters is that your sounds is near
with another gathering
another you and me!
in the best noodle place we always eat!
love,
Mom
to extend my wings and embrace the child
who came from afar in a calling of love
under the cloak of stars,
here my wings forever fly with you at heart
I put my words aside and feel your skin and breath
here you come again after so many days apart
and I hear the winds cycling in to meet again
as the pure inch of possibility
To hear you voice dear child-man
and laugh out loud as the sun accompanies
each step we take side by side,
you know I love your stories
even if the words don't make in reverse,
all that matters is this seconds of possibilities
and we meet again,
the mother questions and frowns over there and
past in uncensored gaps of time
and all the matters is that your sounds is near
with another gathering
another you and me!
in the best noodle place we always eat!
love,
Mom
Sunday, May 30, 2010
La Pucelle, 1412 - May 30, 1431
This you are today and everlasting,
as the fire and wind blended
and travelled with your ashes
Oh Great Warrior you sing
through time indeed
as open sunflowers caress
your dance through the fields
of time.
Immortal lineage blossoming
with your dance,
and the victories of your perseverance
as you marched in battle
with purpose and trust as the emblem
of your vision of light and God
All in the same you came to know
the humbleness in your message
yet piercing through the fear and weakness,
what battles you gave!
This is poem is for you,
for your fire lives on,
and teaches greatness and loyalty!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
From My 5 year old:
I am terrified to be eaten alive.
This is the year that it all happened and never again will I speak_
Never again.
There I died. The rest is history. In my black eyes,
everything I knew will be shut down
and no one will know the truth because I won't remember,
anything else anymore.
This is the year that my skin broke into a million pieces and I was
setting the tone for everything to be.
Closed.
Like closing down a shop_
No one would be able to reach me, not even myself.
This is the age were the birds separated from my well
and no longer approached_
Leaving behind all the memories
behind_
The long black hair that covered my face is my shield.
One of the many.
This is the year that it all happened and never again will I speak_
Never again.
There I died. The rest is history. In my black eyes,
everything I knew will be shut down
and no one will know the truth because I won't remember,
anything else anymore.
This is the year that my skin broke into a million pieces and I was
setting the tone for everything to be.
Closed.
Like closing down a shop_
No one would be able to reach me, not even myself.
This is the age were the birds separated from my well
and no longer approached_
Leaving behind all the memories
behind_
The long black hair that covered my face is my shield.
One of the many.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
French Champagne Cafe
Sitting in a café with a soft roll to comfort the zone and bareness of many with held emotions, a set of accumulated rabbits in the wonderland well that are comforted in each bite.
A few tables down a conglomeration of Jesus lovers, mostly women, in fact all of them are women and a black preacher speaking of the love of God, that all you need is the love of God. They slowly read verse 14.1 to give you a number because it simply slipped my mind as to the exact quote.
“let me free of this resentment” say it over and over until there is no more resentment and Christ has healed me, one of them in a very low tone says.
I believe the Lord heals physically too…says another.
There is the laughter of some as they agree with gratitude, you can tell some have awakened within and it is their community within a French café down the road where I use to live.
14th chapter 22nd verse, says the preacher in low, deep wide voice that vibrates in my body.
Miracles
The accountability of each action.
Many things overwhelmed me today. Speaking to my landlord, I wanted to know if the check was on the way. Her tone…of: I am going to lie to you, to your face and act sweet like it is beyond her control as she releases responsibility to her accountant. That he will decide what to do as far as the deposit and things that were broken in the apartment.
“Be Humble like a little child”…the preacher speaks and the women interpret as they give examples of humbleness. Humility vs. humbleness. It is a lineage distortion that humbleness is something you feel humiliated about and then the Ego steps in to defend those threatened fibers that were left exposed so others can see. I can see know all those techniques to defend as the world unravels before my feet. Those were the branches that grew defected by the distortion of not knowing the difference between humiliation vs. humbleness. The other humbleness is a realm of pure silence where the simplicity, the practicality of an action is breathed right into the belly and all that humbleness is radiating with love towards every surrender, naturally revealing as the heart opens.
A few tables down a conglomeration of Jesus lovers, mostly women, in fact all of them are women and a black preacher speaking of the love of God, that all you need is the love of God. They slowly read verse 14.1 to give you a number because it simply slipped my mind as to the exact quote.
“let me free of this resentment” say it over and over until there is no more resentment and Christ has healed me, one of them in a very low tone says.
I believe the Lord heals physically too…says another.
There is the laughter of some as they agree with gratitude, you can tell some have awakened within and it is their community within a French café down the road where I use to live.
14th chapter 22nd verse, says the preacher in low, deep wide voice that vibrates in my body.
Miracles
The accountability of each action.
Many things overwhelmed me today. Speaking to my landlord, I wanted to know if the check was on the way. Her tone…of: I am going to lie to you, to your face and act sweet like it is beyond her control as she releases responsibility to her accountant. That he will decide what to do as far as the deposit and things that were broken in the apartment.
“Be Humble like a little child”…the preacher speaks and the women interpret as they give examples of humbleness. Humility vs. humbleness. It is a lineage distortion that humbleness is something you feel humiliated about and then the Ego steps in to defend those threatened fibers that were left exposed so others can see. I can see know all those techniques to defend as the world unravels before my feet. Those were the branches that grew defected by the distortion of not knowing the difference between humiliation vs. humbleness. The other humbleness is a realm of pure silence where the simplicity, the practicality of an action is breathed right into the belly and all that humbleness is radiating with love towards every surrender, naturally revealing as the heart opens.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Two Women and Synchronicities
This is story of Guia and Jackie and it could be the story of Maria and Joy or any two women for that matter, but it is our for the moment. We had been called to come together for weeks now.
For some reason or another I had postponed it, moving, too much work or too long of a drive. But today something in me felt a calling so nothing was out of the way, the day had its challenges but it was bright and shiny, warming every bone in me. Somehow the fwy was packed, it almost seemed impossible to cross the downtown area. I am here she says, waiting for you, just put on some good music.
As I arrived the flower pot by the door is holding a plant, a gift from one of our encounters. It is strong and has long arms of green leaves stretching from one side to the other. I remember sort of, the feeling is within me, this forgetfulness is part of the unconscious energy that I have used as a shield, as a way to avoid participating in life. Remember she says the song I told you to listen when I left to Italy when you left your job at auto shop…pause…yes sort of, I don’t remember the lyrics but I remember the feeling, smiling. The unconscious energy again of not being fully present and missing out on the gifts that have always surrounded me and then poof they are gone.
We climb up the mountain, it is hot and I am ready to release the ashes from all the journals burnt a week ago, I carry them in a green and white plastic bag, it is heavy. I had decided to release them here at the top of the mountain, thank every single ash full of stories, healing and experiences that brought me to where I am now.
So we stand towards the north, I can barely open the bag, she tells me I just have to make a hole. It is hard to let go of so much history, so much healing and the swallows are dancing above, it feels right and I let go, I thank every journal, I am grateful for Guia being my witness, standing next to me, smiling.
We walk down the trail after the lightness sets in and I tell her you know I feel resistance with you, she says I know I feel it, just releasing that truth it opens a door.
I tell her that that story about the sexual abuse talks to me, I feel it is very courageous to bring it out, I have tried to write about it but I can not connect the dots, I see your healing and how you are connecting the dots. Yes, she says and now I am allowing the little girl to speak, I’ve only just began…I pause, I want to know more, I thought I was connecting to this little girl but then I forget what she sounds like, I start seeing her in my mind about 5 or 6 years old, write about it she says, tell the story and I think we are starting to remember, its about remembering. and then we notice a hummingbird, it crosses out path and sits on a branch of a bush above on the right side as we approach, as if it had been listening to all that we said, we get closer and realize the hummingbird is just above our head, sitting on a branch looking right and left, it doesn’t move and we start communicating saying thank you for sharing this path and what a gift it is to be so close to you and how beautiful this day…it comes straight to my left eye fluttering its wings at their incredible speed, so close to my face, to my eye and it moves right in front of the left side of my face, over and to my left ear, the sounds of its wings is so strong I close my eyes and the thought comes over my mind, it is healing me and it is sprinkling its healing energy.
I want to open my eyes but before I do it flies away and I am left speechless, never before have I found an encounter so close and so clear, this presence today had all the answers of a lifetime and the word Onward that seems to be appearing over and over again has finally meaning.
What is the message now hummingbird? What do I need to see? How do I connect the dots in my healing so I continue to gather energy and share the stories needed for healing in this lifetime.
This is the path of two women in the process of healing, remembering once again the pure, clear and transparent energy that we are. Two women walking side by side in synchronicity as the wounds heal.
As I remember and acknowledge that all that sexual energy as a child was taken by force now I am regaining and feeling the difference between unconsciousness and full awareness in this lifetime. It is not good or bad only that am able to see the difference and trust fully in the process of walking in my wholeness. I have nothing to loose, I was made believe that I lost everything while everything has always been within me.
For some reason or another I had postponed it, moving, too much work or too long of a drive. But today something in me felt a calling so nothing was out of the way, the day had its challenges but it was bright and shiny, warming every bone in me. Somehow the fwy was packed, it almost seemed impossible to cross the downtown area. I am here she says, waiting for you, just put on some good music.
As I arrived the flower pot by the door is holding a plant, a gift from one of our encounters. It is strong and has long arms of green leaves stretching from one side to the other. I remember sort of, the feeling is within me, this forgetfulness is part of the unconscious energy that I have used as a shield, as a way to avoid participating in life. Remember she says the song I told you to listen when I left to Italy when you left your job at auto shop…pause…yes sort of, I don’t remember the lyrics but I remember the feeling, smiling. The unconscious energy again of not being fully present and missing out on the gifts that have always surrounded me and then poof they are gone.
We climb up the mountain, it is hot and I am ready to release the ashes from all the journals burnt a week ago, I carry them in a green and white plastic bag, it is heavy. I had decided to release them here at the top of the mountain, thank every single ash full of stories, healing and experiences that brought me to where I am now.
So we stand towards the north, I can barely open the bag, she tells me I just have to make a hole. It is hard to let go of so much history, so much healing and the swallows are dancing above, it feels right and I let go, I thank every journal, I am grateful for Guia being my witness, standing next to me, smiling.
We walk down the trail after the lightness sets in and I tell her you know I feel resistance with you, she says I know I feel it, just releasing that truth it opens a door.
I tell her that that story about the sexual abuse talks to me, I feel it is very courageous to bring it out, I have tried to write about it but I can not connect the dots, I see your healing and how you are connecting the dots. Yes, she says and now I am allowing the little girl to speak, I’ve only just began…I pause, I want to know more, I thought I was connecting to this little girl but then I forget what she sounds like, I start seeing her in my mind about 5 or 6 years old, write about it she says, tell the story and I think we are starting to remember, its about remembering. and then we notice a hummingbird, it crosses out path and sits on a branch of a bush above on the right side as we approach, as if it had been listening to all that we said, we get closer and realize the hummingbird is just above our head, sitting on a branch looking right and left, it doesn’t move and we start communicating saying thank you for sharing this path and what a gift it is to be so close to you and how beautiful this day…it comes straight to my left eye fluttering its wings at their incredible speed, so close to my face, to my eye and it moves right in front of the left side of my face, over and to my left ear, the sounds of its wings is so strong I close my eyes and the thought comes over my mind, it is healing me and it is sprinkling its healing energy.
I want to open my eyes but before I do it flies away and I am left speechless, never before have I found an encounter so close and so clear, this presence today had all the answers of a lifetime and the word Onward that seems to be appearing over and over again has finally meaning.
What is the message now hummingbird? What do I need to see? How do I connect the dots in my healing so I continue to gather energy and share the stories needed for healing in this lifetime.
This is the path of two women in the process of healing, remembering once again the pure, clear and transparent energy that we are. Two women walking side by side in synchronicity as the wounds heal.
As I remember and acknowledge that all that sexual energy as a child was taken by force now I am regaining and feeling the difference between unconsciousness and full awareness in this lifetime. It is not good or bad only that am able to see the difference and trust fully in the process of walking in my wholeness. I have nothing to loose, I was made believe that I lost everything while everything has always been within me.
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