Opening heart and feeling the welcome of a new life has gently unfolded its support for weeks now since I started writing and following this thread. Now its about upholding this entrance into the abundance and prosperity that sorrounds all of us. Moving from the poverty mind, I look around and am reminded always, specially around the garden that there is no doubt there, when I loose track I stand there right in the middle of all the watermelons, tomatoes and cucumbers being supported by the corn and tobacco plant. That the voice that tells me that "you are never going to make it" its just an illusion, a old cop out.
Upholding this entrance means that no matter what happens, I stand strong and grounded, no matter what they say, I always breathe, deep and luscious breath that travels to the tip of my toes and back through the crown of my head. No matter who is not there and pretends to be there I speak from my heart, so each word is spoken from the fullness of my heart, speak from what my heart is made of. No matter which creditor knocks at my door, I have thanked them for their services and answered their calls. No matter, no matter how everything else unfolds I am standing strong and witnessing the beauty that you bring each day and even when I dont quite make, this is the part of the process and I stand up again and continue. I know already the tast of light and being in the light and rejoicing so abundantly that my heart feels like its going to explode from feeling soooo good!!! So I am grateful each moment, for each new experience you bring into my life, and it is prospering, it is full to the rim, now more than ever.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Debts
I told her it was an issue about money, not having enough, fear of repaying those loans and feeling stuck with resolution. So my life stops because how could it move forward, after all if you would hear the details you too would understand and say: you are right, nothing can done. But no we are here to feel the light, to be that light and these barriers are coming up for a great lesson. I can see most everything that comes across as a resistance to let the shine come through. Remembering back from childhood, I didn`t believe worthy enough to deserve being part of the prosperity or abundance, there was scarcity from the beggining so most of my life has been about "almost making it" "if I work hard enough" "other people can because they have more energy".
Owing money feels like being trapped, unable to move forward. Failed. I've been working since the age of 13... we would tell the people I would babysitt that I was 16, I always looked much older that I was to my advantage so we spend alot of times pretending, denying, covering up. So there was never enough, not enough clothes, activities, jewelry, houses, vacations, toys, cars. I take a breath in, remind myself that we are just clearing up the path.
So moving into the light, being that light means becoming acquainted each time, more and more that it is all an opportunity and that moving out of the fear of debts is stepping into affirming what I really am. A success!
Owing money feels like being trapped, unable to move forward. Failed. I've been working since the age of 13... we would tell the people I would babysitt that I was 16, I always looked much older that I was to my advantage so we spend alot of times pretending, denying, covering up. So there was never enough, not enough clothes, activities, jewelry, houses, vacations, toys, cars. I take a breath in, remind myself that we are just clearing up the path.
So moving into the light, being that light means becoming acquainted each time, more and more that it is all an opportunity and that moving out of the fear of debts is stepping into affirming what I really am. A success!
Friday, August 14, 2009
Realizations
Being awoken at 4am. Not having any idea why I am awake and my fingers are itching for the keyboard, to form the words from afar, from within, from dreams. I've been working with languages since I can remember and the fascination for each vowel, the sound that comes together to form a phrase, to describe each moment, each life experience.
This hour before the sun rises is one of my favorites without a doubt, it is in-between still, there is hardly vibration of thoughts or conversations. All those sleeping are creating vibrations in their dreams, another land of mystery that I still know so little of.
As the sun rises the crows soar across the sky and caw in their journey amidst the city awakening.
There is a sensation of well-being around the house, the garden. A sneaky rat or squirrel, possum, not sure...has been eating the great tomatoes...These signs are subtle sometimes like the creature coming in to nibble on things and wait for my reaction. This time it was not a reaction but simply to notice where in my life I am not putting boundaries, where in my life do I need to have them and forgotten to use them.
We saged the garden one night and spoke to the creature to nibble on the north section of the garden. That we would be open to sharing the space, working to grow plants but with the intention of sharing.
So here it is daylight and a crystal at hand. A crystal a good friend of mine exchanged for a healing breathing session. The crystal I found yesterday has formation of triangles along the face side of it. According to my other friend, crystal expert, she said that these crystals come to us with certain messages and that if we sit down with it to meditate, the message will come sooner or later in some form, either in a dream or during waking hours, so pay attention.
These are the conversations with the Earth, at some point or another they come to you.
This hour before the sun rises is one of my favorites without a doubt, it is in-between still, there is hardly vibration of thoughts or conversations. All those sleeping are creating vibrations in their dreams, another land of mystery that I still know so little of.
As the sun rises the crows soar across the sky and caw in their journey amidst the city awakening.
There is a sensation of well-being around the house, the garden. A sneaky rat or squirrel, possum, not sure...has been eating the great tomatoes...These signs are subtle sometimes like the creature coming in to nibble on things and wait for my reaction. This time it was not a reaction but simply to notice where in my life I am not putting boundaries, where in my life do I need to have them and forgotten to use them.
We saged the garden one night and spoke to the creature to nibble on the north section of the garden. That we would be open to sharing the space, working to grow plants but with the intention of sharing.
So here it is daylight and a crystal at hand. A crystal a good friend of mine exchanged for a healing breathing session. The crystal I found yesterday has formation of triangles along the face side of it. According to my other friend, crystal expert, she said that these crystals come to us with certain messages and that if we sit down with it to meditate, the message will come sooner or later in some form, either in a dream or during waking hours, so pay attention.
These are the conversations with the Earth, at some point or another they come to you.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Acknowledging Support, universal support....
I've been contemplating and writing about support, why is it that alot of times there is this sensation that I am left alone in the middle of this vast universe and a great resistance to enter sleep, to enter that magical time of in between, so I do, do, do because somehow its never enough. So through the breath work I've learned that I am fully complete and whole and with an abundance of love flowing through me and that not only I am supported by a vastness that is always there but its constant and for free.
I am learning about the power and wisdom of the conversation with the Earth. The growth and timeless interconnection we have.
So endless doing of duty work becomes a doing of not feeling until recently. Once the heart opens there is a different vision in how to do things and where those seeds come from, what am I cultivating, caring and harvesting. Does each action support my vision of love, this new found love that needs to be cultivated so I can expand into all that I was intending when I crossed over to this planet, to this side of adventure.
To further take a walk this day, I walk with music in my heart, feeling the rhythm of great Earth, of the birds that with loyalty sing their heart. I will be open to hear the caress of clouds over my head, and the whisper of each visiting wind, the voices of each person I encounter today, they joy in my mother's prayers, the white cabbage butterflies that roam through each plant in the garden, each sound, the phones ringing in the office, the busy travellers east and west down National blvd...endless vibrations of life.
I am learning about the power and wisdom of the conversation with the Earth. The growth and timeless interconnection we have.
So endless doing of duty work becomes a doing of not feeling until recently. Once the heart opens there is a different vision in how to do things and where those seeds come from, what am I cultivating, caring and harvesting. Does each action support my vision of love, this new found love that needs to be cultivated so I can expand into all that I was intending when I crossed over to this planet, to this side of adventure.
To further take a walk this day, I walk with music in my heart, feeling the rhythm of great Earth, of the birds that with loyalty sing their heart. I will be open to hear the caress of clouds over my head, and the whisper of each visiting wind, the voices of each person I encounter today, they joy in my mother's prayers, the white cabbage butterflies that roam through each plant in the garden, each sound, the phones ringing in the office, the busy travellers east and west down National blvd...endless vibrations of life.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Yams and successes
My mother had saved some overgrown yams earlier this year. She has confidence in me as a gardener and held on to them until I came over. I felt this as a sign of affection and complete love that she has over me. She is always finding ways to connect with me and share her discoveries so when I see her there is no end to our conversations. So I took them and searched for a space on the edges of the garden to grow yams. I have never grown yams but remembered visiting a garden in the south of France where we were gathering the early potatoes of the season. They're mysterious underground roots and grow below the earth, as the plant grows it spreads over the ground like a great vine with beautiful funneled purple flowers.
It is six months since this time and I was walking barefoot around the garden pulling weeds and rising the falling tomatoe plants that are loaded with of all sorts of them. I decided to dig my hands into the ground to check and see if the yams were ready. Since the plant had flowered, I figured the yams were ready and indeed I found two rounded orange roots fitting in the palm of my hand. My mother´s touch and confidence permeated in my hands as I pulled them and thank the plant for such crops. I can´t wait to call my mother and share with her the success!
Success is something we talked about during my healing session with Katrina, she had suggested I write on this blog the successes of all the things, beings, forces that support and nurture me every day. This is the beggining...I will keep adding to it:
I´ll start with the garden and the yams of this morning!
My son, Jean Philippe for his wisdom and infinite love and choosing us as his parents.
Miles and Aerin for always believing in me and dreaming me forward with their impeccability.
I thank the support of my mother for her confidence and presence in my life.
My women friends who are forever linked with me.
David Elliott and the path of healing breath.
The healers and writers.
Paulina, my niece for her unbountiful wisdom.
Debbie, sister and soul mate of intimacy.
The support of this Earth always, always.
The winds for sharing the mysteries of this universe.
The Stars for lighting my path.
The guides and angels that walk by my side every day.
I am a beautiful woman on her spiritual journey of evolution
I am a writer and gardener and healer.
I am a mother, sister, friend and companion.
loyal.
generous,
kind,
a great listener,
poet,
bury´er
teacher
As I cultivate this garden, I learn to cultivate my love because without this love nothing grows, at least nothing a deeply rooted as the yams I held this morning in my hands. Cultivating love is watering and singing on a daily basis the ecstasy and gratitude of being alive. This morning I woke up and my breath was flowing throughout my body, that alone merits all the joy I can share and since my gift is to write I dedicate this to you with the longing to create and hold the belief that we can all awaken the different gifts we have.
It is six months since this time and I was walking barefoot around the garden pulling weeds and rising the falling tomatoe plants that are loaded with of all sorts of them. I decided to dig my hands into the ground to check and see if the yams were ready. Since the plant had flowered, I figured the yams were ready and indeed I found two rounded orange roots fitting in the palm of my hand. My mother´s touch and confidence permeated in my hands as I pulled them and thank the plant for such crops. I can´t wait to call my mother and share with her the success!
Success is something we talked about during my healing session with Katrina, she had suggested I write on this blog the successes of all the things, beings, forces that support and nurture me every day. This is the beggining...I will keep adding to it:
I´ll start with the garden and the yams of this morning!
My son, Jean Philippe for his wisdom and infinite love and choosing us as his parents.
Miles and Aerin for always believing in me and dreaming me forward with their impeccability.
I thank the support of my mother for her confidence and presence in my life.
My women friends who are forever linked with me.
David Elliott and the path of healing breath.
The healers and writers.
Paulina, my niece for her unbountiful wisdom.
Debbie, sister and soul mate of intimacy.
The support of this Earth always, always.
The winds for sharing the mysteries of this universe.
The Stars for lighting my path.
The guides and angels that walk by my side every day.
I am a beautiful woman on her spiritual journey of evolution
I am a writer and gardener and healer.
I am a mother, sister, friend and companion.
loyal.
generous,
kind,
a great listener,
poet,
bury´er
teacher
As I cultivate this garden, I learn to cultivate my love because without this love nothing grows, at least nothing a deeply rooted as the yams I held this morning in my hands. Cultivating love is watering and singing on a daily basis the ecstasy and gratitude of being alive. This morning I woke up and my breath was flowing throughout my body, that alone merits all the joy I can share and since my gift is to write I dedicate this to you with the longing to create and hold the belief that we can all awaken the different gifts we have.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Roots
Unfolding back the layers
of all these years,
Peeling back the skin
Shedding...
Knowing the embrace of the Earth
from within,
she is always there
I can finally trust
now beneath those layers
all the pretext of not being
is an illusion,
The center is revealing
as it speaks through your touch
She is soft, gentle but fierce
like light moving with the winds
speaking in all tones of conversation
like specks of black crows across the sky.
The language is poignant, peppery and spicy
at times if you are silent enough
the earth opens in its ripening
to sing in between the trail of ants
and enchanting owls permeating through
the stillness of the night.
It is perfect, on this perfect moment
as your roots expand and extend further
that is how the greatest storm ain´t moving
an inch of hair,
or a helpless strand of forgetfulness
randomly shifting through the boulevard
of all these years,
Peeling back the skin
Shedding...
Knowing the embrace of the Earth
from within,
she is always there
I can finally trust
now beneath those layers
all the pretext of not being
is an illusion,
The center is revealing
as it speaks through your touch
She is soft, gentle but fierce
like light moving with the winds
speaking in all tones of conversation
like specks of black crows across the sky.
The language is poignant, peppery and spicy
at times if you are silent enough
the earth opens in its ripening
to sing in between the trail of ants
and enchanting owls permeating through
the stillness of the night.
It is perfect, on this perfect moment
as your roots expand and extend further
that is how the greatest storm ain´t moving
an inch of hair,
or a helpless strand of forgetfulness
randomly shifting through the boulevard
does not lure you into the alleys.
No,
The stand is tall and strong as a tree
free and deeply rooted
and this trunk you wear
rich in maple sap
has the coating you ever needed
and every story foretold as it is.
As it truly is.
No,
The stand is tall and strong as a tree
free and deeply rooted
and this trunk you wear
rich in maple sap
has the coating you ever needed
and every story foretold as it is.
As it truly is.
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