La Pucelle, 1412 - May 30, 1431

This you are today and everlasting,
as the fire and wind blended
and travelled with your ashes

Oh Great Warrior you sing
through time indeed
as open sunflowers caress
your dance through the fields
of time.

Immortal lineage blossoming
with your dance,
and the victories of your perseverance
as you marched in battle
with purpose and trust as the emblem
of your vision of light and God

All in the same you came to know
the humbleness in your message
yet piercing through the fear and weakness,
what battles you gave!

This is poem is for you,
for your fire lives on,
and teaches greatness and loyalty!

From My 5 year old:

I am terrified to be eaten alive.

This is the year that it all happened and never again will I speak_

Never again.

There I died. The rest is history. In my black eyes,
everything I knew will be shut down
and no one will know the truth because I won't remember,
anything else anymore.

This is the year that my skin broke into a million pieces and I was
setting the tone for everything to be.
Closed.
Like closing down a shop_
No one would be able to reach me, not even myself.
This is the age were the birds separated from my well
and no longer approached_
Leaving behind all the memories
behind_
The long black hair that covered my face is my shield.

One of the many.

French Champagne Cafe

Sitting in a café with a soft roll to comfort the zone and bareness of many with held emotions, a set of accumulated rabbits in the wonderland well that are comforted in each bite.
A few tables down a conglomeration of Jesus lovers, mostly women, in fact all of them are women and a black preacher speaking of the love of God, that all you need is the love of God. They slowly read verse 14.1 to give you a number because it simply slipped my mind as to the exact quote.
“let me free of this resentment” say it over and over until there is no more resentment and Christ has healed me, one of them in a very low tone says.
I believe the Lord heals physically too…says another.
There is the laughter of some as they agree with gratitude, you can tell some have awakened within and it is their community within a French café down the road where I use to live.
14th chapter 22nd verse, says the preacher in low, deep wide voice that vibrates in my body.

Miracles
The accountability of each action.

Many things overwhelmed me today. Speaking to my landlord, I wanted to know if the check was on the way. Her tone…of: I am going to lie to you, to your face and act sweet like it is beyond her control as she releases responsibility to her accountant. That he will decide what to do as far as the deposit and things that were broken in the apartment.

“Be Humble like a little child”…the preacher speaks and the women interpret as they give examples of humbleness. Humility vs. humbleness. It is a lineage distortion that humbleness is something you feel humiliated about and then the Ego steps in to defend those threatened fibers that were left exposed so others can see. I can see know all those techniques to defend as the world unravels before my feet. Those were the branches that grew defected by the distortion of not knowing the difference between humiliation vs. humbleness. The other humbleness is a realm of pure silence where the simplicity, the practicality of an action is breathed right into the belly and all that humbleness is radiating with love towards every surrender, naturally revealing as the heart opens.

Two Women and Synchronicities

This is story of Guia and Jackie and it could be the story of Maria and Joy or any two women for that matter, but it is our for the moment. We had been called to come together for weeks now.
For some reason or another I had postponed it, moving, too much work or too long of a drive. But today something in me felt a calling so nothing was out of the way, the day had its challenges but it was bright and shiny, warming every bone in me. Somehow the fwy was packed, it almost seemed impossible to cross the downtown area. I am here she says, waiting for you, just put on some good music.
As I arrived the flower pot by the door is holding a plant, a gift from one of our encounters. It is strong and has long arms of green leaves stretching from one side to the other. I remember sort of, the feeling is within me, this forgetfulness is part of the unconscious energy that I have used as a shield, as a way to avoid participating in life. Remember she says the song I told you to listen when I left to Italy when you left your job at auto shop…pause…yes sort of, I don’t remember the lyrics but I remember the feeling, smiling. The unconscious energy again of not being fully present and missing out on the gifts that have always surrounded me and then poof they are gone.
We climb up the mountain, it is hot and I am ready to release the ashes from all the journals burnt a week ago, I carry them in a green and white plastic bag, it is heavy. I had decided to release them here at the top of the mountain, thank every single ash full of stories, healing and experiences that brought me to where I am now.
So we stand towards the north, I can barely open the bag, she tells me I just have to make a hole. It is hard to let go of so much history, so much healing and the swallows are dancing above, it feels right and I let go, I thank every journal, I am grateful for Guia being my witness, standing next to me, smiling.

We walk down the trail after the lightness sets in and I tell her you know I feel resistance with you, she says I know I feel it, just releasing that truth it opens a door.
I tell her that that story about the sexual abuse talks to me, I feel it is very courageous to bring it out, I have tried to write about it but I can not connect the dots, I see your healing and how you are connecting the dots. Yes, she says and now I am allowing the little girl to speak, I’ve only just began…I pause, I want to know more, I thought I was connecting to this little girl but then I forget what she sounds like, I start seeing her in my mind about 5 or 6 years old, write about it she says, tell the story and I think we are starting to remember, its about remembering. and then we notice a hummingbird, it crosses out path and sits on a branch of a bush above on the right side as we approach, as if it had been listening to all that we said, we get closer and realize the hummingbird is just above our head, sitting on a branch looking right and left, it doesn’t move and we start communicating saying thank you for sharing this path and what a gift it is to be so close to you and how beautiful this day…it comes straight to my left eye fluttering its wings at their incredible speed, so close to my face, to my eye and it moves right in front of the left side of my face, over and to my left ear, the sounds of its wings is so strong I close my eyes and the thought comes over my mind, it is healing me and it is sprinkling its healing energy.
I want to open my eyes but before I do it flies away and I am left speechless, never before have I found an encounter so close and so clear, this presence today had all the answers of a lifetime and the word Onward that seems to be appearing over and over again has finally meaning.
What is the message now hummingbird? What do I need to see? How do I connect the dots in my healing so I continue to gather energy and share the stories needed for healing in this lifetime.

This is the path of two women in the process of healing, remembering once again the pure, clear and transparent energy that we are. Two women walking side by side in synchronicity as the wounds heal.
As I remember and acknowledge that all that sexual energy as a child was taken by force now I am regaining and feeling the difference between unconsciousness and full awareness in this lifetime. It is not good or bad only that am able to see the difference and trust fully in the process of walking in my wholeness. I have nothing to loose, I was made believe that I lost everything while everything has always been within me.

More about Spring

Change of cycles circling above
At the North Pole
as it slowly turns
into the season we call Spring,
to the South Pole.

This beginning of lilacs blooming
Jazmin fragrance inthe night space
Angel honey flowers bordering the
Great Fig Tree,

The cycles have travelled
Impregnating the air with change
and as you walk with her,
the rise stirs each step,
and the fall of her breath settles all impatience.

Spring is announcing its North Wind
cutting through the thickness of confusion,
the West wind slides through the branches
Instigating the dance of its leaves,
The South wind rolling with its playfulness
below each Sun,

Tickling your belly
and the early East Wind
Galloping among the fields,
in an awakening fully present.