My Mother's Dance

I didn’t want my mother to be my buddy, I was thinking back in times of resentment and anger, as a teenager. I wanted her as my mother, as the umbrella that protected my growth, as the one who would kiss my wounds when I barely could stand on my own and I fought her and the world when she didn’t meet my expectations. What is a mother anyway? How do I define her? mama, The IE root for MA, MAMA, MAMMALIA and MOM is ma-mother. The American Heritage Dictionary declares, when presenting the Indo-European root, that MA is 'an imitative root derived from the child's cry for the breast (a linguistic near-universal...) From breast in latin, a breast is the organ of containment, a container of nourishment, close to the heart, both breasts side by side of a heart who vibrate into this liquid of nourishment.
The baby is born, it is screaming into life to announce its arrival and seeks the comfort of the mother’s heat, to be nourished, to be fed, to be had with the essence of mother’s milk.

When do you leave the nest? The nest of this nourishment, when do you begin to fend for yourself, is there a time limit when mother is no longer someone who you reach for. Share with, tell each other stories. Not to long ago I layed my head on my mother’s lap, I am 47 now, I was laying on the floor near her and I felt like a child. She gently touched my cheek with her hand, brushed my hair away and told me that everything would be ok. It’s a moment in time I never forget, those moments that remain within you for a lifetime, always there to remind you of the gentleness, of the bond that two human beings can share.

So where did we separate? When did we become separated? When did I start searching for something that was already within me and relentlessly torn from every fiber that came between us.
It seems it all started when I was born. I was not suppose to happen and nothing was in our favor in those days. She was 15, ready to experience life in a different way than pregnancy.

What happens if the baby is barely held, barely if not at all breast fed, do we spend a lifetime seeking that heat, that closeness, that mother’s breast of warm, sweet milk that fills the baby’s entrance into life.

What if that hole is filled and the heat is generated within oneself. The heat in a dance, as the body move and warms into the rhythm of sound waves that invites the joy, the passion of existence. The stillness then settles in and becomes part of this reality and I can accept her loving hands as they embrace what I am today. Each time my mother comes close, I accept. Each time she touches my face I accept the love she has always wanted to share and didn’t know how before.

My mother moves with determination as the years go by and perhaps now I don’t need to explain everything that I am ready to fight with her about. Now is a time to gather in a family that has not known about gathering, it had been innate in the past but other energies intruded and distorted what was right and was wrong. We accepted all that came our way.

Now love is leading the way and we are opening doors to the freedom of our hearts. It takes a village to move our consciousness, even those strangers on the other side, even those strangers who speak a foreign language, it is no longer relevant because we are speaking from the language of the heart.

John Hardy: My green school dream | Video on TED.com

John Hardy: My green school dream | Video on TED.com

My Concept of God

It is an energy that flows within the Universe
the one that animates the wind,
that fires the heat,
that dances among each body
and the transformation of sounds so we can hear.

It is the language of the heart
that speaks to me the most,
The Spirit that accompanies all experiences,
survival, transformation and wellness
It is the one waiting while supporting growth
waiting patiently,
through each heartbeat,
for growth and evolution,

It is a God that supports my nuggets of awareness
as they move into my awakening and
supports my movements into taking action as I amend
and give you my truth into the totality of beingness!

It is the union of peace and harmony in my heart and the calling
I am claiming to be part of my tribe,
to contribute further healing.
To contribute towards our joy together into this planet,

My concept of God has changed and I have open my heart
to be in this light and in the love we all share.

Intuition

Intuition feels like a conversation with the Universe
like messages in the sky
like a feast of hummingbirds celebrating in flight
and the heat rising from the heart’s desire to be free.

my friend calling on the other line
how are things she says?
Things are great,
lots of gratitude
dancing in grace
as I let myself be embrace by it all,
as long as it is harmony, peace and lots of joy.

She is a painter
and shares her art and joy,
how she studies and plays
while letting go of a nicotine addiction,
who overtook and lead her life.

Now she is free
connecting the new dots
and living a life
connected to her heart
I tell her I agree we’ve been survivors
for too long,
now its time,
its time to thrive!
i look up at the sky
as if something gently lifts my chin,
and there is a dance in the sky,
a red-tailed hawk
being followed side by side
by two crows,
the hawk smoothly flying
expanded
in agreement of an open door to thrive,
that is it,
they slowly disappear into the sky
until their dance only remains
in our words,

my friend agrees,
she tells me then about the
story of her knowledge of crows and eagles.

a story of its own later to be told.